Everything Meant to Break

I have survived everything that should’ve broke me. And maybe at one point, in some ways it did. But I built myself back up piece by piece. My resilience is my spirit and my unshakable determination to thrive.

My earliest memory is of sexual assault. I have endured not 1, not 2, not even 10, but literally hundreds of sexual assaults against my body.

I was sexually abused by my father for almost the entirety of my young childhood. I was molested by my oldest brother when I was only 6. I also endured sexual abuse from other adult men at the arrangement of my father. All of this I endured without any help, support, or treatment.

Into my teenage years and young adulthood I would take this trauma and allow how I felt about myself to put me in situations that would lead to more sexual assaults and rapes.

I would have 2 pregnancies that resulted in miscarriages that were the result of rape.

I have been sexually assaulted by intimate partners and told that it wasn’t assault because of the relationship.

All of this I was told was my fault. No one ever has been held accountable by peers or the legal system.

I have been judged and persecuted for crimes done against me.

For a very long time I hated my body and yet felt I had to use it to gain love and affection. I thought it was the only part of me worthy. This unhealed trauma led to self-harming, eating disorders and many other mental health problems.

But yet I push forward. I got the help I needed and I am healed/healing. And now, I am a huge advocate both personally and professionally for healing and thriving after trauma and abuse. Advocating for awareness of sex crimes has always been a huge part of my story!

I tell my story to let others know they are not alone. This issue is far too common and not many know how to help survivors nor how to prevent it.

So my message today is - Your voice matters. You matter. Tell your story. You are not alone. 🖤

— Katelyn Curran